How to overcome perfectionism? A Practical Guide

Do you strive to be perfect? Never feeling fully satisfied with where things are now? Do you think you are not good enough, think of yourself as a loser?

If you want to be the most, the first and the best of all…Stop it! Perfectionism is destroying you.

Perfectionists are highly critical of others and themselves. They strive to achieve their best performance and goals in everything they do. What they can’t accept in themselves is something they reject in others.

They try to please others with their performance. And although it encourages them to excel, it also instills a fear of failure.

If you strive to be perfect, you tend to compare yourself with others and often try to demean them.

People try hard to have their lives look perfect in order to mask massive underlying issues.

Do any of these statements sound familiar to you?

I have been told I am too judgmental, often thinking the worst of others

I feel that others have unrealistically high expectations of me

I hate asking for help, because it can be perceived as a flaw or weakness

I can’t stand being interrupted

I can’t stand it if my house/office is not organised meticulously

I think that others are constantly judging me and feeling dissatisfied with me.

I get really upset when I feel criticized

I feel I have to do everything myself because nobody can do things properly

I can’t stop thinking about a mistake I made

It is difficult for me to delegate

I want something either perfect or not at all

I am constantly checking and rechecking work before considering it finished

I am careful about how I phrase things so people will like me

I find it very difficult to say ‘no’

I feel guilty if I take time for myself

Asking for what I want is hard for me

I avoid any situation which could be confrontational

I am reluctant to form relationships with others for fear of being rejected or looking foolish

I get irritated when others don’t get things right

When I have made a decision I often doubt my choice

I avoid social situations because I feel uncomfortable

I feel inferior to people more successful, more attractive than me

People will look down on me if I look foolish or make a mistake

I feel devastated if I make a mistake

I am very competitive and can’t stand doing worse than others

I avoid trying things I might not be good at

I don't want others see my imperfections

I worry about what people will think of me

I want to be thought of as a nice person

I am a fault-finder, I must correct other people when they are wrong

I find myself obsessing about the finer details of a task

I felt that I could never meet my parents’ expectations

It is hard for me to complain about a poor product or service

I tend to be quite critical of my family/colleagues which causes arguments and bad feelings

I feel anxious if I think someone might think badly of me

I am very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people

If I don’t do well all the time people won’t respect me

I hate it if I don’t get something right from the beginning

Every project I do has to be 100-percent perfect

I don’t like it when others don't do something the way I do

I like to be ready for everything that can happen

If I gain a few pounds, I will look like a pig

I am often tense and depressed when I need to do something

I can be very fixated on details

If people knew my true self, they would dislike me

If during a diet I eat one cookie, I continue to eat because I have already ruined the diet

I will look terrible if I wear shorts because my legs are fat

I often use the word “must”.

Entertaining is good, but only after I finish all the work

I am never really satisfied with my work; it never feels completely finished

My self-confidence depends on my achievements

If I fail, I tend to ruminate about it over and over again.

I can never have anyone over to dinner because my house is messy

It’s hard for me to finish projects because I can always do something more to improve them

If my report isn’t perfect, I’ll get fired

I’m indecisive because I’m afraid of making a mistake

I have to volunteer for every project

I have to endlessly prove my worth at work and it is exhausting

It is hard for me to think outside the box

Nobody ever appreciates me

Although I earn good money, I constantly think that it’s not enough

I want to feel and look successful, so I spend a lot of money on clothes and status items (cars, phones, etc.)

Perfectionists tend to be:

Competitive

Defensive and over-emotional

Ambitious

Critical, picky

Fussy, judgmental

Aggressive or hostile

Afraid of criticism

Fast walking, talking, speaking

Here are some negative effects of perfectionism:

Anxiety

Depression

Beating yourself up

Panic disorder

Social isolation

Insomnia

Exhaustion and tiredness

Muscle tension

Working endless hours

Rumination

Increased self-criticism

Sexual dysfunction

Low self-esteem

Repeated checking

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Excessive amount of time spent on tasks

Putting off tasks (procrastination)

List-making

Being over-thorough

Hating to waste time

Decreased creativity

Decreased job satisfaction

Eating disorders

Here are some points you will learn in this course:

How to deal with challenges and failures

How to stop worrying about everything

How to overcome inner critic

How to achieve your goals

How to behave at work

How to say “NO”

How to deal with negative thoughts

How to stop being harsh and unforgiving

How to make a decision without stress

How to stop being rigid and inflexible

how to overcome the fear of failure

How to stop worrying about your body image and weight loss

How to raise confident and happy children

How to overcome painful emotions and be happy

How to overcome jealousy

How to stop judging people

How to stop having high expectations of people and life

How to stop worrying about losing your job

How to be pleased with yourself

How to be a positive person

How to be assertive

How to overcome your deepest fears

How to deal with mean people

How to accept reality and circumstances

How to deal with grief and loss

How to be mindful

How to outgrow your childhood experiences

How to raise a non-perfectionist child

How to deal with anxiety

How to praise yourself and your achievements

How to be grateful

How to communicate your needs and desires

How to use the correct language

How to deal with negative thoughts

How to find a perfect partner and be in a happy relationship

How to communicate with friends without stress

How to overcome aggression and resentment

How to start changing your life

How to show empathy

How to listen to somebody

How to overcome the fear of growing old

How to react to criticism

How to let go of control

Perfectionists, despite being wealthy, healthy, famous, and gorgeous, are unhappy.

They dismiss the good in their lives while concentrating on the bad. Although they work hard, strive to get everything done meticulously, they are people who are supposed to be successful and happy, they mostly are not. Other people consider them successful, but perfectionists see themselves as failures, and they are not quite happy.

Perfectionism makes you stay home, not take chances, and procrastinate on projects; it makes you think your life is worse than it is; it keeps you from being yourself; it stresses you out; it tells you that good is bad.

So let’s give up perfectionism and start living a happy life!